Square Peg, Round Hole
by TheGirlInThePinkScarf
Summary: On the surface, Phil and Jeff seem completely opposite. Underneath the surface is so much more than they were expecting.
1. Chapter 1: Dark Side

**A/N: This is dedicated to the fabulous Cal-Wills because she loves Junk as much as I do and she's always there for me. **

**She listens to me bitch and complain so much that I think I should start paying her!**

**I know how much Junk means to you, Cal and I really tried to do them proud in this fic for both of us!**

**This story came out of nowhere, I took a pain pill and started writing this before I went to sleep one night.**

**I kind of always wanted to write a story where Jeff was very weird and a little dark and I guess this is it.**

**I also wanted to write Phil softer than I normally write him.**

**"Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson and "Flaws and All" by Beyonce unintentionally inspired this story. **

**I think they really fit how Jeff feels about himself and his relationship with Phil.**

**I pictured Jeff looking how he did during his AntiChrist gimmick in TNA because I think it fit better.**

**This is much different than my normal style, but I really hope that you enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the wrestlers, they all belong to WWE and TNA. Trust me, if I owned Phil and Jeff, they'd never leave my apartment. **

* * *

Square Peg, Round Hole

Everyone in the locker room wants Jeff Hardy. They are either sexually attracted to him and just want to fuck him, or they want to brag about fucking him. They throw themselves at him every chance they get and Jeff doesn't give any of them the time of day. They're too easy and Jeff likes challenges. That's why Jeff likes Phil. Phil keeps to himself mostly and he doesn't act like a groupie. Phil is leaving the arena with his best friend Kofi when Jeff calls his name.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Jeff asks.

"Yeah, sure," Phil answers.

Phil's demeanor is calm, but internally, his heart is beating out of sync and he's nervous. Jeff Hardy wants to talk to _him_. Jeff doesn't really talk to anyone, so it's truly a big deal. Jeff's hands are shoved in his pockets and he seems nonchalant and insouciant as always.

"Are you hungry?" Jeff questions.

"A little," Phil replies.

"There's a diner not too far from here that serves really good food," Jeff indirectly invites Phil on a date.

Phil turns to Kofi and tells him that he'll see him later. Kofi nods because he can't believe what he just witnessed and he can't form words. Phil shoots a small smile Jeff's way and follows him to his car. They ride to the diner in silence. They get seated immediately and Jeff doesn't even glance at his menu.

"Their burgers are the best," Jeff comments.

"I don't eat meat anymore," Phil answers.

"Oh. I didn't know," Jeff admits with a blush.

"You're cute when you blush," Phil compliments.

Jeff's mouth turns up at the corners. "Thanks. You're cute period."

Their waitress comes quickly and takes their drink and food order. Jeff wipes the sweat off of his forehead and nervously taps his foot to the beat of the song that's playing when she leaves. Jeff is really anxious and he's afraid that Phil isn't having a good time.

"I'm really bad at this. I haven't gone on a date in a really long time," Jeff confesses.

Phil places his hand on top of Jeff's. "It's ok. You're doing fine."

"I like you and I don't want to screw this up. I didn't even think you'd say yes," Jeff reveals.

"Why wouldn't I say yes to you?" Phil wants to know.

"You're straight edge. You dated John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler. You smile a lot," Jeff lists.

"Straight edge is how I want to live _my _life. Everyone else has a right to choose how they live theirs. John and Dolph were too pretty for their own good, way too conceited. I want something more than that. And I do like to smile. I think you should do it more often," Phil comments.

"You probably shouldn't be here with me," Jeff softly warns him.

"Then why did you ask me here?" Phil wants to know.

"Because I'm selfish. There's an aura about you. It makes _it _better," Jeff remarks.

Phil is curious by what Jeff means by "_it_" and he wants to inquire, but their waitress comes with their meal. Phil smiles politely and thanks her. Phil slowly eats his meal and watches as Jeff pulls the tomatoes and pickles from his burger before he takes a bite.

Phil raises a brow. "Why didn't you just ask for no tomatoes and pickles?"

"A burger looks naked without them," Jeff says simply.

Phil accepts that answer and tears into his veggie wrap. When they're finished eating, Jeff offers to pay, but Phil waves him off and hands their waitress, Maria his credit card. Jeff drives them back to their hotel and offers to walk Phil back to his room. Phil takes Jeff up on his offer.

"Have a good night," Jeff tells him before turning to walk away.

"Wait. I'm going to watch a movie. You can stay," Phil lets him know.

"Really? Even though we just had an awkward date?" Jeff asks.

Phil nods and steps aside so that Jeff can come into his room. Jeff slips his shoes off and leaves them at the door. He tentatively joins Phil and sits on the bed. Jeff doesn't realize that his whole body is shaking until Phil rubs his back soothingly and asks him what's wrong.

"I'm sorry," Jeff apologizes.

"Don't apologize. I just want to make sure that you're ok," Phil genuinely states.

"I shake when I'm nervous," Jeff explains.

"Don't be nervous. I don't bite," Phil teases.

"This has to be the worst date you've ever been on. I promise I won't get mad if you tell the locker room how much of a freak I am," Jeff says as he looks away from Phil.

Phil turns Jeff around and tenderly takes his face into his hands. "You're so sweet and considerate. This is far from my worst date. You're not a freak. You're beautiful."

"I don't understand why people say that," Jeff confesses.

"Because it's true. Even if you can't see it, Jeff. You're charismatic, an enigma. You don't try to be beautiful, it just comes naturally," Phil whispers.

Phil traces Jeff's lips with his fingers and Jeff shudders, this time in complete ecstasy. Jeff's soulful green eyes are staring at Phil and it almost makes Phil uncomfortable how piercing his gaze is. Phil caresses his cheek before leaning in slowly and licking Jeff's bottom lip.

Jeff parts his lips slightly and lets out a small moan when Phil slides his tongue into his mouth. They both taste like spearmint gum and their kiss is unhurried. They take their time feeling out each other's mouths. Phil places a hand behind Jeff's head and pulls him even closer.

Jeff feels dizzy and hazy from lack of air, but he's never felt such pleasure. Jeff feels empty and cold when the kiss eventually ends. Phil grins in contentment and gives him a small peck before finally separating from Jeff. They look at each other for a few moments, neither of them making a sound.

Phil tucks a strand of short black hair behind Jeff's ear. "So, how about that movie?"

Jeff doesn't trust his voice, so he just nods in agreement. Phil picks the first DVD that he finds and it's an old horror movie. Midway through the film, Jeff reaches over to take his hand. Phil looks at their interlaced hands and his heart warms at the sight.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Phil requests.

Jeff is conflicted; he wants to stay, but knows that he should go. Jeff feels the undeniable attraction between them and it scares him. Jeff really wants to turn Phil down, but the pull is way too strong. He takes one look into those determined olive eyes of Phil and he doesn't think that he could deny him anything.

"Ok. I'll stay," He agrees.

It's pretty late once the movie finishes and they know that they need to get some sleep. Phil strips down to his boxers because the room is so hot and he notices that Jeff still has his shirt on. Phil remembers that Jeff never takes his shirt off in the ring and he wonders why.

"You have to be sweating in that shirt. You can take it off. You don't have to hide from me," Phil whispers.

Jeff shakes his head. "I don't want you to see it."

"See what?" Phil probes.

"We have an early morning, let's just get some sleep," Jeff changes the subject.

"Ok, good night," Phil says, temporarily letting the subject go.

* * *

It's been a little over a month since their first date and Phil and Jeff are practically attached at the hip. This hasn't gone unnoticed by anyone and everyone's pretty curious about the new and peculiar relationship. Phil is talking to Kofi as they enter his and Jeff's hotel room. Phil smiles when he sees that Jeff left him a drawing.

"He drew a picture of you sleeping? That's pretty creepy," Kofi states.

Phil rolls his eyes. "No, it's not. I watch him sleep too. We kind of always watch each other."

"That sounds intense," Kofi comments.

"I think that's a good word to describe what Jeff and I have," Phil agrees.

Kofi shrugs. "Well, it's certainly not _normal_. You don't really seem like you fit together; he's a square peg and you're a round hole. I don't get it."

"It's not for you or anyone else to get. We share a bond that's indescribable. It's stronger than a sexual bond, deeper than an emotional one. On the surface we may seem incompatible, but we aren't. Do you know what it's like to be with someone who knows what you want without having to tell them? Someone who doesn't have to try to understand you, they just automatically do? Trust me, Jeff and I fit together just fine," Phil responds very exasperatedly.

"You're right. Nobody's opinion matters if you're truly content. However, I know you and you fall really hard very fast. I just want to make sure that you don't get your heart broken again," Kofi mentions.

"I'm pretty sure that he's the one, Kofi. I can feel it," Phil assures him.

"It's your heart, I'm going to trust you to know what's best then," Kofi relents.

"Thank you," Phil remarks.

"Now that we're done talking about our feelings, can we play Madden now?" Kofi asks.

Phil smiles. "Yes."

* * *

For the first time in what feels like forever, Phil and Jeff have 2 whole days completely free. They're currently at Phil's place in Chicago kissing and groping each other passionately. They've officially been dating for 3 months and they haven't had sex yet. Phil is looking to change that.

"I want you inside me," Phil utters.

"Are you sure?" Jeff checks.

Phil places Jeff's tattooed hand on his erection. "Do you feel that? I'm damn sure."

"I've never topped and I want to make it good for you, but I don't know if I can," Jeff admits as he avoids Phil's gaze.

"Everything about you is perfect for me. Your voice calms me down when I'm stressed, your hands knead all of the tension from my body and your kisses cheer me up after a long day. I have no doubt that sex with you will be amazing," Phil guarantees.

Jeff is still unsure, but his desire to please Phil takes over. He makes quick work of taking Phil's clothes off and he completely pauses so he can take in the wonderful sight of his nude body. From the tattoos covering the tan skin, to the gorgeous slightly parted thighs, Jeff finds the man beneath him flawless.

"You're beautiful," Jeff expresses.

A cute blush covers Phil's whole body at the praise. Jeff briefly untangles their limbs so that he can remove his sweat pants. Meanwhile, Phil grabs the lube and a condom from his nightstand. Jeff is naked except for the thin undershirt that he's still wearing. Phil drapes his arms around Jeff's neck and pulls him in for a sweet, tender kiss.

"I want to see _all _of you, Jeff," Phil softly urges.

Jeff shakes his head. "You don't want to see what's under here. It's ugly."

"That's not possible. It's apart of you so it can't be ugly," Phil argues.

Jeff opens his mouth to retort, but Phil brings their mouths together, effectively cutting off his reply. Phil doesn't want to push the issue, so he doesn't. Jeff covers his boyfriend's neck in kisses before moving down to his chest. He sucks one of the nipple rings into his mouth and Phil's body jerks.

"So good, Jeff," Phil moans.

He rolls his tongue around the sensitive nipple before lightly biting it. Phil tangles his hands in Jeff's hair to show how much he appreciates the pleasure that he's receiving. Jeff's mouth continues his descent and stops at Phil's hard cock. He takes his time licking from base to tip, making sure to graze every pleasurable spot.

"Baby, don't tease," Phil tells him.

Jeff catches all of the sliding drops of pre-cum on his tongue before engulfing the whole head into his mouth. Phil curses loudly at the sudden bliss. Jeff relaxes his throat to allow more of Phil's length inside while he reaches for the lube. Phil's eyes roll into the back of his head when he feels a lubed finger probe his entrance. Jeff moves his finger around experimentally and he finds Phil's prostate.

Phil whimpers. "Fuck, Jeff. No more prep, I need you now."

Jeff wants to prepare him a little linger because he's afraid of hurting Phil, but he can't resist the look of unadulterated lust on Phil's face. Phil rips the condom open with his teeth and he places it on Jeff's dick impressively quick. Jeff slowly enters the very narrow and warm depths of his lover. He stops moving when Phil lets out a small grimace.

"I'm fine, keep going," Phil comments.

Phil wraps his legs around Jeff's back and they both moan when that pushes Jeff even deeper inside. After checking for signs of discomfort and finding none, Jeff slowly pulls out and plunges back in. Phil's eyes are sharp, focused, and staring right at Jeff. Jeff has already started to sweat a little bit and his short black and blonde locks are sticking to his face. Phil thinks that he looks breathtaking.

"You feel amazing," Phil lets him know.

"No, _you _do," Jeff compliments.

Jeff bends down to kiss Phil and to make sure that their bodies are touching completely. Only small beads of perspiration are in between them and the only thing they're focused on is their mutual joy. Jeff has to briefly look away because the intensity of Phil's gaze is almost _too _much. He finds that special spot again and Phil's painted nails press into Jeff's back impulsively.

"Shit! Right fucking there, Jeff!" Phil screams.

Phil's cock is sandwiched between their bodies and the friction is driving him wild. Jeff is feeling extremely happy and it's not just because of the perfect ass that's surrounding his dick. It's the fierceness behind those dark green eyes. Neither one has said the "L" word out loud yet, but Jeff can _feel _it from the powerful look.

"God, Jeff, I..._fuck,_ it's so damn good. I can't even..._shit_," Phil mumbles into Jeff's neck.

Somehow Jeff is able to translate Phil's broken speech. He knows to go faster, deeper, and a little bit harder. Jeff delicately places a tattooed hand to Phil's cheek to wipe a stray tear. Jeff realizes that he's not crying because he's in pain, but because he's finally _whole. _The feeling of unity and harmony is reciprocated by Jeff.

"I'm almost there, cum with me," Phil pleads in a hoarse tone.

Jeff lightly grazes his lips over Phil's cheek and he loves the way his tears taste. Jeff creates a little space so that his hand can fit between their bodies and stroke Phil's already leaking cock. It only takes a few pumps of his fist to send Phil over the edge. Phil's cum splashes over both of their torsos and Jeff releases right after him. Jeff is utterly spent and after he catches his breath, he rolls off of Phil. The only noises in the room are their heavy breaths.

"I've never felt _that_ before," Phil breaks the silence.

"Being absolutely content?" Jeff guesses.

Phil nods and idly plays with strands of Jeff's hair. "Yes, being that in sync with someone. I didn't think it was actually possible to love someone _this _much. I could never find what we have with anyone else. There's no going back now. You're it for me, Jeff."

"You can't say that, Phil. You haven't even seen my darkest side yet," Jeff points out.

"I'm not easily scared, you know? I can handle your dark side," Phil swears.

"How do you know?" Jeff challenges.

Phil grabs his hand. "You're so hard on yourself, Jeff. You view yourself as this horrible person, but I know better. You're sensitive and extremely kind. Sure, you're a bit sad sometimes, but I find it beautiful. It's what makes you human. There's a lot of good in you. I don't think the dark will outweigh the lightness. Besides, I'm no saint and you accept me flaws and all. If you can love me despite my faults, I can do the same."

"I just don't want you to say you love me and then take it back when you find out how repulsive I really am," Jeff explains.

"You don't have to worry about that happening. When you let me in to that side of you, I'm going to be there to pull you back. To remind you how lovely and wonderful you really are. If you push me away, I'll just hold on tighter," Phil declares.

"You promise?" Jeff asks timidly.

"I promise," Phil states.

Jeff leans back and lets Phil wrap his arms around him. Jeff feels slight comfort from Phil's words and he's going to hold on to that feeling for as long as he can. He fully believes that Phil is sincere with his words. He's still fearful that once he uncovers his other side, that Phil will flee. That's exactly what happened in Jeff's last relationship.

* * *

**A/N: I've always been fascinated by people falling in love quickly and deeply and I wanted to explore that a little bit.**

**I've always loved the idea of people finding their soul mate as well so I wanted to try writing that too. **

**I hope to have the second (and more than likely last) part of this posted on August 31st since that's Jeff's birthday!**

**The next chapter will explore a lot about Jeff's past and of course he'll reveal his secrets to Phil.**

**It was nice and a lot of fun writing something that's so different for me.**

**I can't wait to hear all of your feedback! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Technically, it's still Jeff's birthday my time so I am on schedule with this update!**

**I had a surprisingly busy first week of school, so I didn't have a lot of time to write.**

**I did most of the writing today and honestly I wasn't sure I would get it done.**

**The first part is a bit rough, but it definitely picks up, so I hope you read the whole thing!**

**This went into a completely different direction so the original title that I picked didn't fit.**

**This is the first time that I've published an untitled chapter, but I thought it was better to get this out than to wait and try to pick a title.**

**Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this chapter because I worked really hard on it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the wrestlers, they all belong to WWE and TNA. Trust me, if I owned Phil and Jeff, they'd never leave my apartment.**

* * *

Chapter 2:

Phil is not a patient man, but for Jeff's sake he's really trying to work on that. Phil runs a frustrated hand through his hair and he looks over at his sleeping boyfriend. He looks peaceful and Phil can't help but notice that there's a hint of skin showing from under his shirt. He knows that he should ignore it, but he's way too curious.

He reaches over and very gently rolls the rest of Jeff's shirt up. Phil's not sure what he's expecting to find, but he's prepared for anything. He raises an eyebrow in confusion when he sees the bandages wrapped around Jeff's stomach. He starts wondering if Jeff is injured and that worry makes his chest ache. Phil is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't see the panic setting in on a suddenly awake Jeff.

Jeff quickly pulls his shirt down. "Phil, you weren't supposed to see that."

"I just need to know if you're hurt," Phil replies.

"I'm fine," Jeff answers defensively.

"That was convincing," Phil sarcastically responds.

"I wouldn't hide an injury from you," Jeff truthfully states.

"I really want to believe that," Phil comments.

"I've never lied to you. I have a few secrets, but―"

Phil cuts him off. "Lies of omission are still lies, Jeff."

Jeff has a crestfallen look on his face and Phil immediately feels bad. Phil didn't mean to sound so callous with his last statement, but he's just so frustrated that Jeff is withholding things from him. He turns to apologize, but Jeff leaves the bed and walks to the bathroom, loudly slamming the door behind him.

Phil sighs because he knows that when Jeff gets pissed off or hurt, that it can last for a few days. Jeff doesn't want to be bothered when he's in one of his moods, so Phil doesn't chase after him. When Phil hears the water running in the bathroom, he reaches for his iPhone. He scrolls through his contacts until he finds Matt's number. The phone rings a few times before Matt finally answers.

"Hey Phil," Matt greets.

"Hey," Phil echos.

"Is everything ok with my brother?" Matt wonders.

"Not exactly. I was wondering if I could talk to you about it over lunch," Phil explains.

"Yeah, sure," Matt agrees.

They agree to meet in the lobby in about 20 minutes and to figure out where they want to eat then. Not knowing if Jeff is taking a shower or one of his really long baths, Phil quickly writes a note letting Jeff know that he's out and should be gone about an hour, maybe longer. He quickly gets dressed and leaves the room. Matt is already waiting when he makes it to the lobby.

"There's a restaurant right next door, wanna go?" Matt asks.

"Yeah, sure," Phil concurs.

The restaurant isn't crowded and both men are thankful for that. They find a table in a secluded corner anyway and their waiter brings their menus pretty quickly. They order something to drink and silently look at their menus as they decide what they want to eat. Matt orders tacos and Phil picks the vegetarian chili. Phil plays with his silverware and he starts talking after taking a sip of Pepsi.

"Does Jeff always wear bandages on his stomach?" Phil finally questions.

Matt nods. "Yeah, he has for the longest time."

"I thought that he was fighting injured and keeping that from me," Phil reveals.

"He knows that we would both kill him if he did something like that," Matt assures him.

"It's just difficult to trust someone when they won't disclose everything," Phil tries to explain.

"Jeff's still a little damaged from his ex, just give him a little more time. He loves you and he'll open up to you eventually," Matt believes.

"I'd like to find his ex and kick his ass!" Phil comments.

Matt laughs. "Well, you are fighting him on Sunday."

"_What_? John Cena is Jeff's ex?" Phil asks, truly surprised.

"That was my reaction when Jeff first told me too," Matt adds.

"And people think that me and Jeff are weird together," Phil replies.

"Yeah. I know it seems like they'd be an odd couple, but they were actually pretty cute together. Jeff was going through a really rough time though and I guess that John just couldn't deal. It nearly killed Jeff when Cena left him. I don't mean that figuratively either," Matt says, suddenly solemn.

Thinking about Jeff being in such a state of despair makes Phil lose his appetite abruptly. He thanks Matt for meeting with him and tells him that he'll keep in touch. He asks for the check and a box to put his chili in when the waiter gets back. The only thing on Phil's mind is confronting Cena at the pay-per-view in a few days.

* * *

Phil has just retained his title in a match against John Cena, but he's in no mood to celebrate. He tells Jeff to catch a ride to the hotel with Matt, but he doesn't tell him why. Jeff kisses him on the cheek and leaves. Phil doesn't even knock on John's door, he just rudely pushes it open. John gives him a questioning look, but he doesn't get a chance to speak because Phil talks first.

"How could you leave Jeff when he needed you the most? Are you really that much of an asshole? He's such a sweet and wonderful person, but he doesn't believe it because you fucking broke him! You have no idea how much I hate you for hurting him like that!" Phil yells.

John sighs. "Jeff was damaged _long_ before I got to him. I didn't care though because I fell in love. I wanted to stay with him, but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do, but I refused to stay around and―"

Phil interrupts. "So what happened? He started using drugs and instead of trying to help him, you just decided to desert him? Real fucking nice, John!"

"Hold on. What did he say happened to cause our breakup?" John wants to know.

"Well, Jeff doesn't talk much about you at all. Matt told me that it was a little bit after his relapse and depression that you left him. He also told me that Jeff tried to off himself..." Phil can't finish his sentence because he's too overcome with emotion.

John holds back tears. "Don't throw that back in my damn face! Matt called me from the hospital the night it happened and believe me, I'll _never_ forgive myself for that. I didn't break up with him because of drugs though. He had another vice that I felt was even worse. I begged him to get help, but he wouldn't. I regret that I didn't try harder. I felt powerless and I didn't want to see him hurt himself anymore, so I left. I thought that since I couldn't help him, that I wasn't right for him and that he didn't need me."

"When you say that he hurt himself...you mean that he...Oh _fuck_, that's why he won't take off his shirt, isn't it?" Phil guesses.

"It'll break your fucking heart if you see what he did to himself," John warns.

"I have to see because it's a part of him," Phil remarks.

"He loves you more than he ever loved me and I know that you love him just as fiercely. Fix him. I couldn't mend him and I think it's because it was meant for_ you_ to," John says.

"I'm going to try my absolute hardest to put him back together. I don't care how much I get wounded in the process. I don't care if he leaves me. I'll go through that insurmountable pain of living without him romantically if it means that he never hurts himself again and that he lives a happy life. I will do whatever it takes," Phil declares, utterly serious.

"See? That's why Jeff and I didn't work together. My relationship with him fell apart so that yours could come together," John theorizes.

"I have to go to him right now. I'm really sorry. I completely misjudged you," Phil apologizes.

"Don't worry bout it," John tells him.

Phil wipes his eyes and lets out a big breath. His head is spinning and he's feeling sick to his stomach. To Phil, there's nothing worse than knowing that Jeff is hurting. He gives Cena one more sad, understanding look and then he leaves. He drives to the hotel with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. Jeff is trying to find something to watch when Phil gets to their room. Jeff immediately notices Phil's red rimmed eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jeff wonders, panic clear in his tone.

"I just talked to John and I know everything," Phil divulges.

"What did he tell you?" Jeff asks, already starting to sweat profusely.

"It didn't take long for me to put 2 and 2 together, Jeff. I need to see," Phil softly demands.

"No!" Jeff refuses.

"I already know―"

Jeff shakes his head. "You don't know _half _of it. Nobody does."

"Then tell me," Phil encourages.

Jeff wants to explain, but he doesn't even know where to begin. He takes his shirt off and violently tears at the wrapping on his stomach. His biggest secret, his hugest flaw is finally revealed to the one person that Jeff can't bear to lose. Phil's eyes are glued to the horribly scarred skin of Jeff's stomach and he's utterly speechless. Some of the flesh looks completely burnt, other areas are entirely red, marred, and disfigured. It doesn't even resemble a human stomach.

"This is the part where you tell me how beautiful I am and how much you love me. Unless of course you don't feel that way anymore," Jeff taunts.

"I just can't believe that you could do this to yourself," Phil responds in awe.

Jeff laughs mirthlessly. "Your sweet, innocent boyfriend doesn't seem so nice and harmless now, huh? What you're looking at right now is how I feel, it's how _I _see myself. Completely disgusting and grotesque. You're looking at years of self-deprecation and self-loathing. I hate myself so much that I did _this _to my very own body. It looks like it hurt, right? The pain of all of these scars is probably more than you could even fathom."

"When's the last time that you..." Phil trails off because the tears are falling too hard.

Jeff exhales. "Not since you entered my life. I mean when I first saw you, I stopped. Remember I told you that you made _it _better? I'm far from being healed, but I despise myself less when I'm around you, Phil. Although right now, I can't honestly say that. I'm not so naïve that I don't understand how much I'm presently hurting you. Nothing is more excruciating than knowing that you're in agony right now because of me and my darkness. I need you here because you make life tolerable, but I don't want to taint you or bring you down with me into this pit of despair. Matter of fact, I won't. You deserve so much more than _this_. I'm going to make sure that you're free of me."

Phil doesn't like Jeff's words at all and he's honestly starting to get a little scared. Jeff kisses him lightly, a barely there touch of their lips. Phil's heart aches when he realizes how _final _that it feels. He tries to bring Jeff closer to him, but Jeff jerks away and starts heading toward the bathroom. Phil runs after him, but he's not quick enough. Jeff closes and locks the door. Jeff wipes the torrent of tears from his face.

"I'm sorry. I love you. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Goodbye, Phil."

* * *

**A/N: I don't write angst, it's really not something I feel that I'm good at and it's not in my comfort zone, so I was surprised at how angsty that this got!**

**I promise, promise, promise that this is not the end!**

**I repeat, this is not how I'm ending the story, so don't throw virtual tomatoes at me! **

**I will have one more chapter and I don't want to rush it, so I'm not sure when it'll be complete.**

**I am really interested in hearing your thoughts since this chapter turned out very different than how I planned it.**

**Oh and if you have an idea for a title for this chapter, give me your suggestions!**

**If I pick the title you suggest, I'll do something nice for you to show my gratitude! **

**I also find it ironic that I write my most depressing Jeff scene on his birthday, LOL! **


End file.
